Harrison: So we're all familiar with kissing games, you know, like Seven Minutes in Heaven, or Spin the Bottle. But there are a lot of things that can arise during a game that can cause you to you know, be a little bit uncomfortable.
Harrison: Right, blech. What if you get caught in Seven Minutes in Heaven, in the closet, with someone you don't want to make out with, but you have to be there for seven minutes?
Maya: That's a long time.
Harrison: What are you going to do? There are a lot of excuses you can make. You could always go with the, "I'm sick, I don't want to get you sick." That's a good one, that's a good go-to. "My throat is sore, or, I got food poisoning and I could throw up at any minute, so I don't want to, you know, put you at risk." A good one to go with is, "I'm in a relationship," and if they ask who are you in a relationship with, say, you know, given name, standard name, and then attach it to a country that no one really knows about. So be like, "My girlfriend Bethany from Iceland." So you know. That's a good excuse, then you don't have to kiss them and they feel bad that they even tried to kiss you when you're in such a committed relationship that you would actually travel to Iceland to see your girlfriend. So that's how I get out of those situations.
Maya: That was pretty intricate. How is Bethany from Iceland?
Harrison: She's good but I think we're going to break up.
Maya: Okay. Being stuck in a closet with someone for seven minutes, even someone you like, that's an intense situation. I would say, I think a lot of kids go in there and they don't actually kiss to begin with, and I think the code is moreso saying you make kind of a bond with each other, an agreement to say, let's just say we made out. And it's kind of like this under the table, unspoken agreement, that something dirty happened in there but you were probably just rearranging that person's dad's sweaters or playing with the umbrellas or something. That's when it's like a mutual freakout. I would say with Spin the Bottle, you can go with the whole ambiguity thing, like, that thing is not such a specific target, that bottleneck. I was thinking of this situation where if you want, you can sort of suggest it's more to the left than it was if there's someone else you want to kiss. Or you could say that wasn't a good spin, that's a little transparent but it is a way to get out of it, absolutely.
Harrison: You know what? If I had to kiss someone I didn't want to kiss, I would just do the half-cheek half-lip kiss, you know.
Maya: Like pretend I wasn't the most smoking hot girl you've ever seen, how would you handle it? Like, oh my god, it's me!
Harrison: Okay, Maya. Maya, I'm going to kiss Maya. Like that. Because I didn't really kiss her on the lips in a very sensual way or even a romantic way at all. What I really did was I kissed her half on the lips and half on the cheek to show her, "Hey, I don't want to kiss you on the lips, you're not that bad looking, but you know, I'm your friend, I'm your buddy."
Maya: Yeah. It was very asexual, almost made me feel.
Harrison: Let's go to a football game and we'll both eat hot dogs, not let's go to a restaurant and you'll just order salad.
Maya: That. That's pretty romantic, that second one. So clearly there is a bevy of ways to approach what is inherent in awkward forced contrived kissing situations. This guy likes to have a lot of fictitious tales of women who live in faraway, outlandish countries. I guess I'm a little more under the radar. Either way, never do anything you don't want to do. In kissing or in life. Just go with your gut. Don't force it. Or, push your boundaries a little, but don't take it to a scary place. And then, you know, it's an experience. So you kissed Maya. You gave her a little confidence boost. You know? It's not the worst thing in the world. Just keep it PG and no one gets hurt.