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How to Flirt at a Bar

Learn how to flirt at a bar in this online flirting lesson from Howcast.


- Hunt:Hi.

- Rachel:Hey.

- Hunt: Hey, how you doing? My name is Hunt.

- Rachel:My name is Rachel.

- Hunt: Nice to meet you, Rachel. Do you live here?

- Rachel:I do. I live right up stairs, actually.

- Hunt:Oh, cool. It's my first time visiting and I'm thinking about moving here.

- Rachel:Oh, it's an awesome neighborhood; you should definitely check it out.

- Hunt: So, what do you like the best about here?

- Rachel:I liked that you just walked into the bar.

- Hunt: Well, I'll take that. I'm glad. Cheers to you. So, you're here with your friends?

- Rachel:Yeah, I have a couple of friends over there. They're playing darts.

- Hunt: Okay. Cool. You play darts?

- Rachel:No, I think I would hurt myself.

- Hunt: That's funny. I've tried to play it. I'm just no good at it. I do play pool, though. Do you play pool?

- Rachel: Really? Oh, we should go play.

- Hunt:Yeah, because it's like fun, because it's learning how to do combos and stuff like that. It's good. You want to try?

- Rachel:Yeah.

- Hunt: Do you want to tell your friends?

- Rachel:No, they're fine.

- Hunt: Alright. Cool. Let's go.

So, I kind of want to break that down for you and let you know what was going on.

- Rachel:I started it. Just like every woman normally starts it. You guys don't realize it, but you guys really are the initiators of most pick-ups.

- Hunt:Absolutely.

- Rachel:So, I saw Hunt from across the room. I made eye contact, and I smiled. I let him know that I was receptive to him coming over. And then he came over.

- Hunt: Yep, and one of other thing too. I would like to say that this is coming from an image standpoint. In order to be noticed, you have to be noticeable. I'm dressed in something that's not going to blend up against the wall and I'm standing in a position where I might be seen, and I was lucky enough to catch Rachel's eye. So, once I saw that invitation,smile, and held eye contact that let me know it was safe to approach and wasn't going to get shot down.

- Rachel:Then we started a conversation which, as you saw, really wasn't much of a conversation at all. It was just a couple of sentences exchanged.

- Hunt: Did I have a pick-up line?

- Rachel:No pick-up line, which you never need. The "Hi, my name is," is all you ever really need to start a conversation with someone. You talk about a couple of things that are in the environment. He asked me if I live around the neighborhood and things I liked about it. If my friends were here. That's all. That's all and then we went together to go play pool. It's really that easy if you come across with confidence and a little chutzpah.

- Hunt: Just be genuine. If I am interested in learning more about her because I would like to date her, it's okay to let that be known.

- Rachel:It's okay.

Hunt: Yeah. Well, good. Cheers.

- Rachel:Cheers.

- Hunt: So, one of the things that I ask for is, Is it okay for a guy to buy a girls drink.

- Rachel:Yeah.

- Hunt:Yes. Does that mean anything?

- Rachel: No.

- Hunt: Exactly. Now, it's always a nice, chivalrous thing to do. Even better, if she's with a friend, to buy her drink, too.

- Rachel:Yeah.

- Hunt: Because it just let's you know that I'm interested in talking to both of you, not I want to get the object of my attention drunk.

- Rachel:Yeah.

- Hunt: At the same time, don't be bottle vultures, women.

- Rachel:Bottle vultures?

- Hunt: Going up and making sure you get as many free drinks from guys as possible.

- Rachel:Oh, no. Don't do that. I don't even know what that means. That's crazy. Now, actually buying a drink for a girl can be the easiest pick-up line in the world because what girl is not going to be receptive to you buying her a beverage?

- Hunt: Right, but don't expect anything out of it.

- Rachel:Exactly. She'll be nice to you though, hopefully.

- Hunt: She should be, yes. The woman should at lease thank you, give you five minutes to see if you got something to talk with. But, guys, just because you're buying the girl a drink doesn't mean anything, even if you buy her drinks all night long.

- Rachel:Yeah.

- Hunt: It doesn't mean anything. It means you can be nice. This is not a tit for tat.

- Rachel:The biggest thing about the bar scene to keep in mind is, one, if you're out there looking to flirt, keep yourself in check. I always say one or two drinks and you really have to call it a night, unless you are with a group of girls and you're just planning on going out together. If you're going to put yourself in the position where you're flirting, looking to meet somebody, getting completely slobbered is probably not a goo idea.

- Hunt: No. And you think that you are a better dancer, you're more attractive, and you're a much more cunning linguist. However, it usually goes down hill. See? Obviously. You had a little too much.

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