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How to Flirt If You're Shy

Learn the best ways to flirt if you are a shy person in this Howcast video.


Rachael DeAlto: Are you feeling shy?

Hunt Ethrideg: I'm a little bit shy.

Rachael: A little bit?

Hunt: A little bit.

Rachael: Well, you need to flirt too as a shy person.

Hunt: But it's, how? It's so difficult. Everyone's like talkative and then they do things. What does a shy person do?

Rachael: Well, I would say the first thing you have to do is get the right attitude.

Hunt: Yeah.

Rachael: Yep. It's all the attitude. It's all in your head. So, when you're starting to have a conversation with someone understand that they want to talk to you.

Hunt: Yeah, you want to talk to me?

Rachael: Yeah! I mean, don't say it like that but as you start to come out of your shell as a shy person it's all about believing that you can be whatever you want to be for that period of time. We're not looking to change personalities, but even when you're shy you can flirt, you can smile. How hard is it to smile?

Hunt: Well see, that's the thing that sometimes people don't realize. You know, we were talking in the previously in one about the main thing that a lot of shy people have to worry about is body language.

Rachael: Yeah. Look at what Hunt was just doing.

Hunt: Because, look. Unconsciously when they sit like this.

Rachael: He's trying to hide. He's trying to hide from the world right here.

Hunt: And they might want to meet people but if there were two people and you were sitting there like this and someone else was sitting there like this, who are you going to want to talk to all night?

Rachael: I know, I look a little scary like that. But absolutely you're going, you're gonna to feel different when you change your body posture, when you change the way you're sitting or presenting yourself. So, the first thing is attitude. The second think I think would be to really be conscious of the way that you're sitting or presenting yourself, if you're standing somewhere. pen yourself up! You know, you don't have to say everything and I think that's where people who are shy think that they can't flirt because they have to, you know, start a conversation on their own or they have to keep a conversation going. That's not really the case.

Hunt: Right.

Rachael: You can flirt without saying a word through your body language, through your eyes, through your smiling.

Hunt: One of the things I know, for me, is sometimes that if we know that you are interested or we know that you want to have things we might naturally be drawn to be people that are more outspoken but if you say like, 'You know, I'm just a little bit shy,' and it's like, 'but I enjoy talking to you' or something like that. It lets the person know okay, it's not that this person is

Rachael: Yeah.

Hunt: cold or doesn't want to interact with me. They absolutely do. And once you know someone it's, 'Oh! of course. Okay.'

Rachael: It's okay, and you're like, 'Oh my gosh, I can talk to this person!' Absolutely, that's a great point, because most shy people that I've worked they with might be shy at first but then once they get comfortable they're blabbing just as much as we are.

Hunt: And I want to let you know too, speaking from a lot of my guy friends, that they love shy women because when they feel like when they open up to them they get this special secret that no one else knows in this personality. So, while the media and the movies are filled with all of these outgoing, you know, extroverts it's not to say that there isn't so much that's valued about shy people too. They keep their confidences more, they feel like they're learning more about people. So it's something that people absolutely are drawn to. You just have to let them know, 'I am interested'.

Rachael: I love that. And you know what? Take that home, take to heart. Take what he said because knowing that there are people that are drawn to your shyness and really appreciate the fact that you don't just, you know, show up as this gregarious whirlwind like I do. It's a good thing. So embrace that. Love yourself.

Hunt: Yes.

Rachael: Go get them.

Hunt: People love shy people. No problem being shy. Just, you know, push yourself just a little bit.

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