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How to Flirt Using Proven Principles

Learn how to flirt using proven principles in this Howcast video.

Transcript

- Hunt Ethridge:Well, a lot of people, when they're talking about dating, they want to know results and data and things because it's so nebulous.They don't know really how to get in it. There's two real things at play. There's our make up, biology, for instance.

- Rachel DeAlto:It's not my make-up.

Hunt: It's not your make-up, which looks fabulous, by the way.

Rachel:Thank you.

Hunt: Biology, for instance, is that men were genetically born to be a protector; to make sure that the woman feels comfortable and safe. This is why a lot of times, women go after men that are older than them, or that are financially viable. They know that they'd feel protected.

The man's inclination is, honestly, biologically speaking, to go after what looks like that would give you the best progeny. There's even waist-hip ratios, good hair, and good skin as indicative of good hormones and stuff too. So, one is understanding and accepting that this is part of...

Rachel:It's science.

Hunt: Yes, it is science.

Rachel:You can't get around it.

Hunt: It's what happens. So, there's no reason to feel guilty that this is the way too. But the other aspect is that people get data. They look at data and they try to fix it. When people go out and flirt, what is Einstein's definition of insanity?

Rachel:It's doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result?

Hunt: Exactly. So, people don't take the data that they've gone out. "Oh, I go out to this restaurant all the time." "Well how many of those dates have worked out?" Keep a log.

Rachel:Good point.

Hunt: People keep a journal of what's going on. So you can look back. "Well, seems I've gotten more numbers when I go out on a Thursday night as opposed to Friday night." If you keep track of these things it can help you do better and refine what works best for you. I've heard a lot of people say that it takes the spontaneity and fun out of it. What do you think about that?

Rachel:I think you made two really good points. One, I do like the idea that you pay attention to what you're doing. You make it almost like an experiment. That's all about changing that one variable. So, you go out. You do one thing and then you change one thing of it to see how that changes the next time you go out. That's a great idea for people who might be having some trouble in the dating scene.

The other thing I wanna go back to is, we started talking about biology. A frustration right now with a lot of women is that there almost turning into the men. When you're trying to flirt according to the laws of science, you need to understand that as a woman, it's your position to be the prey.

I'm a strong, independent woman. But when it comes to dating, though, I'm still the prey. The guy has to hunt. So, women out there that are saying, "Wait a second, why can't I ask him out? Why can't I pay for dinners in the beginning? Why can't I do this, this and this?" You're gonna turn guys off biologically, scientifically, because they're not wired for that.

Hunt: Like anything, you value most what you won for yourself, as opposed to what falls onto your lap. One of the things that I say, especially to the ladies out there; the Trojan war was fought over a woman. Men, if they want you, will move a mountain. So, allow them to chase you. This isn't me saying playing games and stuff like that.

Rachel:No.

Hunt: But there is a certain dynamic at play there. Allow yourself to be approachable. Allow yourself to be feminine. Even Rachel here, who's very outgoing and gregarious, is also imminently feminine, soft and beautiful. It's good to try to find that balance that's going to work both scientifically and emotionally.

Rachel:Agreed.

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