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How to Flirt Subtly

Learn how to flirt subtly in this Howcast video.


Rachael DeAlto: Alright, this is neither one of our strong suits, but...

Hunt Etheridge: Subtlety...

Rachael:'s a really important thing to learn. And we can be subtle.

Hunt: Yeah, you have to be sometimes, too.

Rachael: Because in every situation it's different. So, flirting subtly is about not being completely overt. You're not going to be...

Hunt: Like opening the door...

Rachael: ...hey, hon, how are you doing today?

Hunt: I am fantastic. It's so nice to see you...

Rachael: That's great. Oh, double hand hold, I love a double hand hold...

Hunt: ...I know

Rachael: No, a subtle flirting is more like, hey hon, how are you doing.

Hunt: Oh, hi. Great eye contact, and you're smiling at me. It makes me...

Rachael: But I'm not staring you down like I want to eat you...

Hunt: ...Right, exactly. And we talked about this, too. A lot of the subtlety will come in in body language.

Rachael: Yes.

Hunt: And if you notice how her leg is crossed towards me, that's just an indication that she wants to open her body towards me. Even little touches like, oh you're funny, you know. See? Obviously, it works. She's swooning at the moment.

Rachael: Subtle flirting really is about not going overboard on your gestures. Not over-smiling where you're constantly like, hey.

Hunt: Yep.

Rachael: Eye contact is minimal, but there.

Hunt: Enough to let them know that it exists...

Rachael: Yeah.

Hunt: ...That there's some level of attraction that's there. Then you're more than welcome to step it back.

Rachael: Yeah. And that's the thing. You need enough eye contact so it doesn't feel like a passing glance, but not too much so that you're still in that subtle zone. The other thing with subtlety is don't touch so much, because I'm a big proponent of using touch when you're flirting, especially when it's in the seduction phases. But, if you're touching, you're kind of past that subtle point.

Hunt: Right.

Rachael: So, keeping it in terms of, you know, using your smile, using your eye contact, and using the right body language. You could just speak it through your body without actually having to say anything.

Hunt: And one of the places that you'd find this often is the workplace...

Rachael: Yeah.

Hunt: ...where you don't ever want to be overt to catch yourself in anything that could result in lawsuits, let alone uncomfortableness within the company dynamics...

Rachael: Hey, hon, I really liked what you did in the boardroom today. I really, I was really....

Hunt: Really?.

Rachael: ...on board with you.

Hunt: Thank you. I worked really hard on that. I'm glad that someone appreciated it.

Rachael: I do appreciate it. I think you're great here.

Hunt: Thank you. I really strive to do well, and it's nice to know that I'm being noticed.

Rachael: Well, you're awesome.

Hunt: Thank you, thank you. I appreciate that. Can I walk you back to your cubicle?

Rachael: Absolutely.

Hunt: Great.

Rachael: Thanks.

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