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First Thing You Should Do When You Discover an Affair

Learn the very first thing you should do when you discover an affair from couples counselor Victoria Wilson, Ph.D. in this Howcast video.


The first thing you should do when you uncover an affair is to ask yourself how it makes you feel. Affairs can engender all sorts of feelings, from anger, to helplessness, to betrayal. And a lot of this has to do with your childhood upbringing and your family history as well. Your own attitude about an affair and how close you are to your partner. How trustful and the kind of bond you have. So the first thing is to ask yourself how this information makes you feel. Are you able to forgive your partner? Would you want to continue this relationship? Once you have really thought this through, I think it's really helpful to talk it through with someone else as well, whether it's a good friend, a confidant, or a therapist. Because either way, whether you decide to dissolve the relationship or to forgive and move on, it's not going to be an easy road. You don't know how your partner will react. You don't know if there might be some violence involved. You don't know whether you'll be able to stay rational throughout this. So I think enlisting a good friend, a confidant, a therapist is one of the first steps you should do to help you process your feelings, as this is not an easy road ahead.

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