Will Someone Who's Cheated Once Cheat Again?

Learn if someone who has cheated once will probably cheat again from couples counselor Victoria Wilson, Ph.D. in this Howcast video.

Transcript

If someone cheated on you once, what is the likelihood that that person will cheat on you again? That's a difficult question. One that requires for you to consider a multitude of factors. One of the most important ones is what is the level of commitment in this relationship. Someone who had doubts about committing to your relationship, somebody who has intimacy or commitment issues will likely to cheat again.

Other factors to consider is that does this person suffer from narcissistic personality traits. Are they low on guilt, remorse, compassion? Do they have difficulty seeing your perspective? Perspective taking? So again, personality variables of that person are very important in considering whether they'll cheat again. Are they sensation seeking? Are they in the position of power where there is a lot of access and opportunity to cheat?

You know, when we talk about Rock Stars or Movie Stars, the temptations are bound for them with all the fans. So very easy to cheat again and again. So it's a multitude of factors. Again, was this an ongoing affair versus a one night stand. How remorseful this person feels, how genuine, religious component, moral components. So looking, you have to look at this at from a perspective of multifactorial, all these factors and how they play out.

And another important component is their family history. Are the parents still together? Are they divorced? What sort of divorce was it? Was there cheating, secrets and lies going on? As children often subconsciously imitate a lot of the behaviors of their parents. So again, there is no simple answer to whether this person will cheat again, however, there's certain things that will predispose them to cheating.

Another big factor that I almost forgot to mention is the premarital history. People who had a large number of sexual partners before marriage or before committing to any relationships are more to cheat. It is simply that they, once they've discovered how exciting it is to have multiple partners it is usually difficult to settle down. So there's some correlation there as well.

But again, I do believe that the people in committed stable relationships should give each other another chance. I do believe in preserving relationships because of the investment, irretrievable investment of time that you've put into each other. So I think especially with help of therapy a lot of people are able to recommit to each other and stay together long term.

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