Festus: No you'd better get a move on, and see Astrid. It's time! Time for the final stage of this grand and glorious operation.
Commentator: Will do.
Okey dokey. Let's talk to Astrid.
Astrid: So it's done. You've killed the Gourmet, and now Titus Mede the Second is as good as dead.
Commentator: Dead as a doorknob.
Astrid: Oh, yes. And I've decided you will have the honor.
Yes, for Sithis and the Night Mother. You are the Listener after all, hmm? So let's not waste any more time.
Go now to Castile Dowr in Solitude. Present the Gourmet's Writ of Passage to the officer in charge, Commander Maro. I'm sure you remember him.
You'll gain unrestricted access to the kitchens, and then the Emperor. You're posing as a chef, so you'll be able to poison his meal rather easily.
Here, take this. It's called Jarrin Root.
All it takes is one taste, and the effects are quite immediate. The Emperor will be serving Sithis before he even knows he's dead.
Once Mede has been killed, escape through the upper door, and across the bridge. I've arranged for it to be unguarded once the alarm is sounded.
Now go, my friend. Go, and fulfill your destiny as Listener.
Commentator: Let's do it.
Astrid: Kill well, and often.
Commentator: So we go now to Solitude.
Noster: How did you do that?
Commentator: And since we're sporting this awesome chef's hat, they'll let us in.
Penitus Oculatis Agent: the city is crawling with Imperial Legion, and you know what? I'm still nervous.
Commander Maro: Stop right there. The tower is off limits until further notice.
What's this now?
Order of his eminence...possessor of these papers...the Gourmet...
By Azura, the Gourmet!
Commander Maro: I...I'm sorry! Your clothes...of course...I...I should have realized!
Please, excuse my ignorance. Gianna, the castle chef, has been eagerly awaiting your arrival. You should proceed to the kitchens straight away.
Commentator: Let's go say hello to Gianna, the chef.
There she is.
Gianna: Not another delivery. I told you people, our stocks are fine. Now put whatever you have over there, then get out.
Oh, finally! When I heard the Gourmet was being brought in to cook for the Emperor, I could hardly believe it.
You're a Nord! I never would have guessed it! But where in the world did you learn to cook like that? Here in Skyrim? Or maybe somewhere less...
Commentator: What are you trying to say?
Gianna: Oh! Yes, but of course. Ahem.
The emperor has requested your signature dish, the Potage le Magnifique. I've taken the liberty of getting it started.
But the cookbook only says so much, and everyone makes the Potage differently. I would be honored if we could make it the Gourmet's special way.
The base broth is already boiled. We can get started right now. So which ingredients should I add next?
Commentator: Uh, hmm.
Gianna: Oh, I get it. This is a test, right? You want to see how well I know the Potage le Magnifique.
Well then, I think a pinch of frost salts should do the trick, right?
Gianna: Ah, of course. I suspected as much.
Commentator: I don't think these actually change anything. Just have fun with it.
Gianna: Okay, let me see. Thistle? Yes, let's try that. Just a sprig or two.
A Septim? As in a...gold coin? Really?
Ah, I see now. that would give the Potage le Magnifique a slightly metallic, but delicious, aftertaste. Ha! Simply brilliant.
I have to say, the stew seems done. Add anything else, and we may dilute the distinct flavors. So...is that it?
Oh? What is this, some kind of herb? Are you sure? The Potage tastes perfect as it is. Any other ingredient might...
Heh, I'm sorry. Of course. It's your most famous recipe, after all.
All right, then. Your secret ingredient's been added.
And if I may say so, it has been an honor, getting a chance to prepare a meal with, well...the best chef in the entire Empire.
I'll carry the stew pot, and lead the way up to the dining room. I'm sure the Emperor and his guests are dying to meet you.
Commentator: The only option that really matters there is putting the Jarrin Root in. Everything else, you can just sort of mess around with.
Well, let's get going.
Emperor Titus: You mean the wedding? My cousin's apparent murder? An unfortunate misunderstanding, no more. Cold mead, hot tempers...these things happen.
Nobleman: Quite. Yet that recent business with the young officer, Maro, was it? How dreadful. The son of your commander, plotting your assassination.
Gianna: Here we are. Gods, I'm nervous. We'll go in in just a moment. Please, I'll serve. You just stand there and...be amazing.
Emperor Titus: Yes, and unfortunate turn of events, that. But an isolated incident, and I have been assured that the fault was with the man's son alone.
Penitus Oculatis Agent: The Gourmet. This is such an honor.
Commentator: I'm gonna hide over here.
Emperor Titus: The truth is, we are in no danger, whatsoever. Killing an Emperor can be useful, but befriending one? Now that's beneficial, as I'm sure you'd all agree.
Aha! Here we are. Honored guests, I present to you, the Gourmet!
Ah, the Potage le Magnifique. So delicious. My friends, as Emperor, I of course reserve the right of first taste.
Oh...Oh how marvelous...just delicious.
Commentator: The exit is over here.
Emperor Titus: It is everything I had hoped it would be. It...I think something's wrong...I...
Commentator: And once we're sure that it's taken effect...
Emperor Titus: Ugh.
Penitus Oculatis Agent: By the gods! The Gourmet and the chef have poisoned the Emperor! Get them!
Commentator: We get out of here.
Maro: That man was, by far, the most insufferable decoy the Emperor has every employed. I'm glad he's dead. Ah, but I'm even happier that you killed him.
You, an assassin for the Dark Brotherhood, have just made an attempt on the Emperor's life. Would have succeeded, had it been the real man.
Surprised? So was I, when a member of your family came to me with the plan. We worked out a deal, you see. An exchange.
I get you, and the Dark Brotherhood gets to continue its existence.
But you know what? I've changed my mind. How about this? I kill you, and butcher each and every one of your miserable little friends.
Your Sanctuary's being put to the sword right now. That's what I think of this deal. You killed my son! All of you! And now you'll pay the price.
Commentator: Uh oh.
Maro: Kill him, and make sure there's nothing left to bury.
Penitus Oculatis Agent: Never should have come here.
Penitus Oculatis Agent 2: What was that?
Penitus Oculatis Agent: What in the bloody blazes?
Commentator: Oh, boy! Hey, there's people right in front of us. What do we do when that happens?
Penitus Oculatis Agent: What in the bloody blazes?
Commentator: There's an archer in there. That seems like too few people to leave to kill me, but hey, you know what? I'm not complaining.
Wait. Nope. Not that way. Oh, it's down the stairs further.