We're going to talk about how to make divorce easier on your kids. It's never an easy situation but, there's certainly some things that you can do to make it easier for your children. Also, you should keep in mind that kids that grow from a family where there's divorce, can still grow up to have great relationships with their parents and great relationships with partners later on and there's a lot that you can do to make that happen.
First thing is, make sure you talk to your kids and involve them so that they're up to date on changes and information. That you don't spring things on them. You want to make sure you give them accurate information that's appropriate to their age. Then, then biggest thing that you can do, is when you're divorced, you're still parents to that child. Which means you have to parent together as much as possible, as hard as that is. You may not be getting along as individual partners, but you need to find a way to get along as parents together.
As parents there's a couple of things that you need to keep in mind. 1 is, that your parenting together and that you have the best interest of your child. Not your own interest at heart. Sometimes that is very difficult to figure out and you may need help at times figuring that out and your children may need help with a professional, to talk about how they're doing.
The other big thing that you need to do is, not put your children in the middle of your tension, or your arguments, or your problems, or the reasons that you got divorced. You don't want to have your children be the messenger, back and forth. You also don't want to be someone who bad mouths the other parent because, at the end of the day, that child has a relationship with that parent. You need to figure out how to help them have that relationship and have them figure that out. Just like you want the other partner to make sure that you get to develop your positive relationship with your child. Sometimes that's difficult, but the more you can think about your parenting job, different than what your ex-partner job is, the better it will be. If everyone is having difficulty, get somebody else involved to help sort it all out so you can preserve those relationships and they can see that even though people didn't get along, actually to live as partners, they can certainly get along as a unit and as a family going forward.