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How to Tell Real Breasts from Fake

When it comes to breasts, some prefer natural and homegrown; others want the best modern science has to offer. Whatever your preference, here’s how to spot the difference.

Instructions

  • Step 1: Check the side view It's difficult to tell the shape of a breast when it's holstered and hoisted in a bra. But in its natural state, the profile of a real one will slope down so it’s fuller at the bottom than the top. If an unfettered breast maintains its full, perky roundness, there’s probably an implant holding it aloft.
  • TIP: If cleavage is rounded or looks inflated on top, it’s either being given a major push from below, or it’s fake.
  • Step 2: Consider proportions Mother Nature rarely bestows big breasts on skinny, small-boned girls. So if a size zero girl is sporting double D’s, they’re probably store-bought.
  • Step 3: Check the spacing The average distance between a woman’s nipples and her chin is approximately 10 inches, depending on her height. If the space is considerably less than that, it may indicate implants.
  • Step 4: Watch them in action When a woman moves, her breasts move with her. If she’s walking fast, they bounce. When she lies down, they flop to the side. If she bends over, they become more conical. Fake ones stay still and maintain their round shape.
  • TIP: Some high-quality implants today are designed with intentional sag to make them look more like the real thing.
  • Step 5: Judge their symmetry God-given breasts are never exactly the same size; implants tend to look like a matched set.
  • Step 6: Find telltale marks Breast implant surgery leaves telltale signs, like tiny scar lines under the breasts, by the armpits, or around the nipples.
  • TIP: Signs of a bad boob job: there’s too much space in between the breasts, one is noticeably higher than the other, or the nipples point in different directions.
  • Step 7: Investigate their softness Real breasts are soft. Fake ones look hard--and feel hard. Just be careful how you find that out.
  • Step 8: Don’t stare Whether the breasts you encounter are real or fake, try not to stare at them. Or, before you know it, you’ll be talkin’ to the hand.
  • FACT: According to the Guinness Book of World Records, the world’s largest fake breasts are size 36 MMM and weigh in at 20 pounds each.

You Will Need

  • Time to ogle

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