How to Fake Being Sick

Pulling a Ferris Bueller is easier than you think—if you plan ahead.

You will need

  • A notebook to record dates and excuses
  • A somewhat gullible parent
  • Acting skills
  • Corn flakes
  • Hot liquids

Step 1 Commit this list to memory ... Commit this list to memory: a fever of 100 degrees or more, vomiting, diarrhea, earache, and sore throat. Doctors say these are valid reasons to miss school, so what parent would disagree?

Step 2 Keep a log Keep a log of dates and excuses so you can prevent patterns from developing.

Step 3 Fake onset of symptoms Become skilled at faking the onset of symptoms. Digestive ailments generally occur suddenly, while other maladies begin presenting themselves the night before.

Step 4 Make fake vomit If necessary, pull out the big guns. Broken cornflakes mixed with a little water make an excellent stand-in for vomit.

Step 5 Fake your temperature If your parents demand further proof, drink hot liquids before taking your temperature to produce a false reading.

Step 6 Enjoy your success Congratulations! Your mom ordered you to stay home. When you sneak out, make sure you’re back before anyone notices you’re missing.