How to Fake an Orgasm

Whether you want to spare an inept partner's feelings or you just want to bring things to a close, here's how to fake the orgasm of your life.

You will need

  • Acting skills
  • Good timing

Step 1 Moan gently Start off by moaning gently a few times. Keep your eyes half-open and your face neutral.

Step 2 Offer encouragement As you moan, offer a few words of encouragement, like a breathless, ‘yes, yes’ or ‘that feels so good.’

Step 3 Kick it up Gradually get louder. Moan more aggressively. Breathe harder and faster.

Step 4 Make faces As you progress, make more intense faces—bite your lip, open your mouth, furrow your brow, grit your teeth.

Step 5 Move around Make sure you move around—this is a full-body performance. ‘Involuntarily’ jerking your legs is a nice touch. Just don’t make it look you’re having an epileptic fit.

Step 6 Announce it Announce your imminent bliss with a breathless, ‘Oh God, I’m almost there!’

Step 7 Go for it Squeeze your partner extra-tightly and pretend you’ve lost all ability to control yourself—scream, thrash around, go intensely quiet, draw in quick, short breaths—whatever you do when you’re actually having an orgasm.

Step 8 Include him While you fake it, scream out that you want him to orgasm, too. Guys like that.

Step 9 Compliment incoherently When you’re done, immediately compliment his lovemaking skills with gasping incoherence, like: ‘That was… you… I… uh… amazing.’

Step 10 Linger Linger afterward. The best actors stay in character even when the camera isn’t rolling.