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How To Ask Out a Close Friend

Ah, the agony of having a friend whom you want to be more than a friend. Tread carefully and you might find love without blowing the friendship.


  • Step 1: Even if you're quaking inside, try to look casual. You want to protect the friendship from the awkwardness that will ensue if your pal is not interested in dating you.
  • Step 2: Be straightforward. Say, "You know how I value our friendship, but I'm really attracted to you as well. What would you think about going on an official date?" It'll be worse if you stumble or hedge.
  • TIP: If the person is tongue-tied, quickly say, "Feel free to take a few days to consider it." Then change the subject.
  • Step 3: Prepare for your friend's reaction. Anticipate questions like, "But what if it doesn't work out?"
  • Step 4: Wait for the right time, when you two are alone, happy, relaxed—and sober.
  • Step 5: Determine your friend's interest by noticing subtle signs like eye contact and body language. Does she touch you on the forearm when making a point? Does he look into your eyes longer than necessary?
  • TIP: The best time to ask is when your day or evening together is coming to a close anyway, so you can lick your wounds in solitude, or your friend can be alone to mull over your suggestion.
  • Step 6: If the answer is no, quickly go back into friendship mode to ease any discomfort. And congratulate yourself for taking a chance—not everyone is so brave!
  • FACT: A University of Indianapolis survey showed that 75% of men and 66% of women are attracted to a friend.

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