First, call her by the right name in bed. Once you’ve done that, follow these steps.

Instructions

• Step 1: Get raunchy. Research on sexual fantasies shows that women prefer naughty, not nice.
• Step 2: Be conscious of your weight when you’re on top, and proceed cautiously around her erogenous zones.
• TIP: If you’re not sure where to start, get a book on women’s favorite sexual fantasies.
• Step 3: Hold her afterward. There’s a physiological reason women want a post-coital cuddle– their bodies have just released a huge amount of the touchy-feely chemical oxytocin.
• FACT: When asked whether men want more sex than they're getting, 38% of women think their partners probably do. But 66% of men say they definitely do!
• Step 4: Don’t make her pick up the used condoms off the floor.
• Step 5: Don’t insult her intelligence by attempting anal sex and then pretending it was an accident. Seriously!
• Step 6: Don’t think you’re gently guiding her by pushing her head down. Trust us: no woman appreciates that helpful hint.
• Step 7: Kissing passionately doesn’t mean shoving your entire tongue in her mouth or making her long for a hanky to wipe your drool off her chin.
• Step 8: Unless you have a moustache and beard, remember to shave first so she doesn’t end up with bristle burn.
• TIP: Try not to give her a wedgie during foreplay.
• Step 9: Do your best to make her climax, even if it really tests your patience.
• TIP: Sorry, guys: Most women need about 20 minutes of oral sex to achieve orgasm.
• Step 10: Don’t assume she has a lower sex drive than you do. She might be tired or stressed sometimes, but fundamentally, she has the same instincts as you.