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How to Avoid Saying I Love You Too Soon

It's easy to be carried away on a romantic tide and say you love someone too soon. Show maturity instead and give compassion for your partner's feelings.


  • TIP: People who fall in love within weeks are usually in love with being in love. There's no reason to feel obligated to feel the same things at the same time.
  • Step 1: Kiss your lover, or tell a joke or a story if the other seems on the verge of announcing their feelings and you're not ready. Confront them seriously if nothing works, warning that unrealistic assumptions might undermine the relationship. You might end up loving them later just for taking the criticism and standing with you.
  • FACT: Only 21 percent of “millennials,” or people born between 1981 and 1992 were married as of 2010 -- half the percentage of their parents' generation at the same age.
  • Step 2: Respond soberly to a partner who expresses their love when you know it's too soon for you to say it. Honestly express your inability to reciprocate for now, reassuring them of your affection. Show respect for the gravity of the words by reserving yours.
  • Step 3: Demonstrate your love rather than feeling pressured to say it. Sacrifice for or spoil your partner in a way that illustrates your devotion. Your partner may ultimately beat you to it.
  • Step 4: Hold back on saying the “L” word if you're saying it just to get a response. Thinking of yourself is a sign that you may not feel real love yet.
  • TIP: If you have to think about it too much, you're trying to talk yourself into it -- proof that it's too soon.
  • Step 5: Maintain your dignity and common sense. Declaring your love too soon during an exciting sexual interlude might feel romantic, but it will be painful to take it back later when cooler heads prevail.

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