How to Convince Your Mother She Dresses Too Young

Tired of your mom wearing stuff more suited to a teenager? Get her to stop embarrassing you -- without embarrassing her -- with this game plan.

Instructions

  • TIP: "Lose" the receipt so she won't be able to exchange your gift for something embarrassing.
  • Step 1: As she slowly starts to incorporate more becoming pieces into her wardrobe, reinforce her actions with compliments and good behavior. If all goes well, she'll soon be dressing like a lady – without knowing what hit her.
  • FACT: According to a More magazine survey, 22 percent of women over 40 still wear bikinis.
  • Step 2: Use her birthday and holidays to beef up her wardrobe with more flattering clothes, and ask family members to do the same.
  • Step 3: Borrow her most cringe-worthy clothes and "accidentally" ruin them with permanent stains or improper laundering. Insist on replacing them yourself -- with more suitable styles, of course.
  • Step 4: Take her shopping so you can steer her to age-appropriate clothing. Insist that she try on a few of your selections and rave about how amazing she looks in them.
  • TIP: As you pass the juniors department, mention how gross it is when women over 30 shop there.
  • Step 5: Confide that you have a "friend" whose mother dresses like a teenager and that it's doing a serious number on the girl's mental health. Hint at terrifying behaviors like moody silences and backtalk.
  • Step 6: Invite her to watch a reality TV show with you featuring older women who are desperately trying to appear younger. Make frequent comments about how pathetic they look.

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