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How to Get Revenge

Whether the person who wronged you is a friend, lover, relative, boss, or neighbor, these tips will help you plot the perfect revenge.

Instructions

  • Step 1: Bide your time. Delayed retribution can be especially gratifying, as you take fiendish delight in knowing your enemy never saw it coming.
  • Step 2: Consider not getting revenge. Research shows that vengeance is not nearly as cathartic as people think it will be; in fact, those who choose to forgive and forget have a much easier time moving on.
  • FACT: According to one author, men are more vengeful than women, except in situations involving romance.
  • TIP: One revenge expert estimates that the ratio of indirect acts of revenge to direct acts is at least 100 to 1.
  • Step 3: Exact your revenge in secret. Harming someone without them knowing you're behind it -- or even knowing exactly what happened -- can be wonderfully satisfying.
  • Step 4: Make the punishment fit the crime. Our innate lust for vengeance can tempt us to over-retaliate, which can make the situation worse.
  • Step 5: Tailor your revenge to your enemy's greatest weakness. Do they define themselves by their work? Find a way to humiliate them in front of their colleagues. Are they obsessed with their appearance? Do something that really makes them look bad.
  • Step 6: Think before you act. Revenge won't feel so sweet if it lands you in jail, makes you look petty, or exposes you to public ridicule.

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