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How to Let Go

Learn how to identify and get rid of the problems, pain, and unhappiness in your life and start fresh.


  • Step 1: Allow yourself to let go of negative emotions. Holding on to anger or resentment, no matter how justified, is to live in a negative state. Once you realize you derive a sense of self from holding on to negativity, you can begin to let it go and prepare for love.
  • Step 2: Practice daily detachment affirmations. You might choose "I release the need to judge or criticize," or "I embrace detachment by choosing to be free from the good and bad opinions of others." Say them to yourself throughout the day and you'll finally be able to let go.
  • FACT: The philosophy of living in the moment is not new. Roman Emperor and philosopher Marcus Aurelius said, "Every man's life lies within the present, for the past is spent and done with, and the future is uncertain."
  • Step 3: Learn from those who have been through crises and finally let go. They realize that it wasn't the thing that they let go of, it was their attachment to it and the sense of themselves they felt they would lose forever by such a change.
  • Step 4: Be aware of your thoughts. Everyone has an inner voice, judging and criticizing, and drawing attention away from the present moment. Don't try to silence it. Just becoming aware of that inner voice, the part of you that is judging yourself, will cause you to let it go.
  • Step 5: Realize that who you are, you true nature, can't be defined. The degree to which you are identified with and attached to something is also the degree to which it can cause you pain. That's why the relationship, job, or home that brings so much pleasure at first may later be a source of unhappiness.
  • TIP: Know that pleasure is derived from something outside of you, but joy comes from within.
  • Step 6: Live in the present moment. If you find yourself wishing for something outside of yourself to fill a void, you're not living in the present. Pain is always some form on nonacceptance. Accept things as they are right now and you'll be starting fresh.
  • Step 7: Know that it's human to derive a sense of self from the attachments you form, whether it's belonging to a group, a way of thinking, or a lifestyle. When attachments change, you may feel you've lost your sense of self and sense of purpose.

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