Holding grudges is a heavy load to carry and takes a toll. Free yourself of resentments with these tips.
- Step 1: Learn to identify the signals that trigger your resentments. Trust friends for help in recognizing your habits of looking for trouble where there is none.
- Step 2: Challenge your ego. If you're sure you know what everyone else is feeling but have no idea what's going on inside you except that you feel unappreciated, it's time to examine why you feel like everyone's an enemy.
- FACT: Resentful of former Secretary of the Treasury Alexander Hamilton's refusal to take back remarks he made at a dinner party, Vice President Aaron Burr challenged Hamilton to a duel, during which he killed Hamilton on the morning of July 11, 1804.
- Step 3: Give up trying to control outcomes and people. Acknowledge that your resentments only give you an illusion of strength and superiority. Let go, go along to get along, and be happier.
- Step 4: Be honest about your part in the resentment -- shoulder the blame for the wrongs you've committed and express sincere sorrow or regret. Ask for forgiveness, without excuses.
- Step 5: Allow yourself to focus on positive things in your life. Forgive others to make peace for yourself, and ultimately understand and have empathy for the one who hurt you.
- TIP: Release yourself to achieve a greater spiritual well-being, to say nothing of lowering blood pressure.
- Step 6: Confront the fact that resentments stem from an addictive state of mind. Being a victim excuses you from doing something about a problem. Be honest about your reasons for holding on to negative feelings.