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How to Let Your Ex Go

It's natural to think about your former flame after a relationship ends, but sometimes it can be hard to let go of your ex. Learn how to end a toxic cycle and say goodbye for good.


  • Step 1: Let them know that you are not interested in rekindling your romance. Don't get sucked in by emotionally needy phone calls, texts, or e-mails. Explicitly state that you need time and space to focus on yourself.
  • Step 2: Find the inner strength to let a new person into your life. Yes, you may get hurt again, but that's part of life. Relationships are imperfect, but when they work and are healthy, it's a wonderful thing!
  • FACT: According to a researcher's 2010 analysis of Facebook statuses, large jumps in breakups occurred near Valentine's Day and in the period before spring break.
  • Step 3: Embrace the experience as an opportunity to learn. Grieve the relationship, and examine why it didn't work and why you're better off without your ex. Now you know what traits you seek in a significant other.
  • TIP: Remove old trinkets and photos that remind you of your past relationship. Throw them out or store them away, but make sure they're gone from your immediate life.
  • TIP: Seek out a relationship counselor or psychologist for expert advice about why you feel stuck in a past relationship and don't know how to move on.
  • Step 4: Take time and set goals to start putting your life back together. Recognize and deal with your own shortcomings in order to move forward. Don't put your life on hold.
  • Step 5: Be honest. Don't sugarcoat the past -- acknowledge your ex's shortcomings. There's a reason why the relationship didn't work.

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