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How To Pick Up a Woman in a Bar

You probably already know what not to do. Here's how to get the job done.


  • Step 1: Send her a good drink. Buy her a glass of nice champagne, or even pick up her entire bill.
  • TIP: If she's just ordered a drink, ask the bartender to put her cocktail on your tab.
  • Step 2: Leave her alone. If she's interested, she'll seize the opportunity to thank you. If not, you've already wasted your money—don't waste your time.
  • TIP: To prevent going broke in the first hour, avoid women who are way out of your league.
  • Step 3: Give women a chance to approach you by occasionally venturing away from your pals. Check out the jukebox or take your time at the bar.
  • Step 4: Forget the cheesy pick-up lines. Just say something impersonal, like "It's awfully crowded in here" and then add, "isn't it?" to invite a response.
  • TIP: 80% of women think they're fat, and one survey found that the words most women want to hear are "You've lost weight," so if you can work in a tasteful compliment about her slimness, go for it.
  • Step 5: Monitor her body language while you chat. Signs that she's into you include hair-flipping, head-tilting, and arranging her body in a way that accents her breasts.
  • TIP: Equally important: if she's turned away, has folded arms; tightly crossed legs, or her chin resting on one hand, then it's not going well.
  • Step 6: Listen more than you talk, and agree with everything she says. Paraphrase what she says back to her, empathize, and keep nodding 'yes.'
  • FACT: 89% percent of men admit they find approaching a woman in a bar nerve-racking, according to a survey, and 25% say it's so stressful they don't even try.
  • Step 7: Ask for her phone number rather than give her yours. Most women still want the guy to do the pursuing. And don't be discouraged if it's fake.

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