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How To Put High School Behind You

You've waved goodbye to those hallowed high school halls. Now, you can finally forget about the past four years and look forward to a future of awesomeness.

Instructions

  • Step 1: Now that you're free from high school, don't revisit the same boring old haunts and swirly-giving jerks. Find new haunts (and the cool new people who hang out there) and explore your interests.
  • Step 2: Update your vocab. In high school, a sentence might sound like this: "Dude, algebra sucks. You wanna hang in my basement later? We're gonna watch cartoons ironically." Your new sentence should sound like this: "Dude, my semester abroad rocked. You wanna hang at my apartment later? We're gonna watch cartoons unironically."
  • Step 3: Believe in yourself. Even if you spent junior year stuffed in a locker, all bets are off. When you wave goodbye to high school, it's like the universe presses a "reset" button, so don't be surprised when popularity smacks you upside the head with a flock of new friends.
  • FACT: Stanford University founded the Education Program for Gifted Youth, which contains a high school that exists entirely online.
  • Step 4: Instead of throwing away or burning the painful reminders of high school, start a compost pile. You'll be eliminating souvenirs of the past four years and doing something good for the environment at the same time.
  • TIP: Do not overuse the words "like," "um," and "whatever.
  • Step 5: If you're a little nerdy, don't worry--you're in good company. Remember Anthony Michael Hall?
  • Step 6: It's your time to shine. Make lots of new friends from different places! See bands you've never heard of! Try new foods! Test your tolerance for caffeinated beverages! The world is your sleep-deprived oyster.
  • Step 7: You know? How you want to sound mature? But when you talk? It's always like you're asking something? "Uptalk" is a bad high school habit, so ditch it.
  • Step 8: If you ever wanted to try on a new persona, college is the time. Anonymity is your friend, because unless you tell them, no one's going to know your dreaded fifth grade nickname.

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