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How to Raise Emotionally Secure Children

Take the time to show your children how much you love them, and implement these tips to help them grow up feeling secure.


  • TIP: Attachment parenting suggests that violence in youth may be directly linked to lack of attachment.
  • Step 1: Connect their responsibility to issues of safety, health, learning, education, and morality in the larger world. Instill manners and interaction with others.
  • Step 2: Discipline by insisting the children solve their own problems, asking questions of them instead of supplying answers, which in the end only compromises their ability to survive independently.
  • Step 3: Emphasize memorable occasions and gatherings that will fix in their minds their essential place in the family order and the circle of life. Tell the family story and convey how reassuring their existence is to their loved ones.
  • FACT: Major depressive episodes among young females was double that of males (12-13% as opposed to 4-5%) from 2004-2007.
  • Step 4: Talk sensitively and attentively with children to bond with them. Model affection and nurture, encourage, influence, and guide.
  • TIP: Children will become what they are told they are. Make sure to boost their self-image.
  • Step 5: Recognize that children, like adults, need to be accepted as serious, thoughtful, attentive people. Raise them to express what they feel.
  • TIP: Treat all children fairly, but not equally. They have to be happy with their differences, not strive to be better than everyone else in order to be loved.
  • Step 6: Structure daily routines to imbue them with a sense of security and predictability. Read and sing to them at regular intervals or times of the day. Cultivate an atmosphere for thinking, exploring, and playing.
  • Step 7: Respond to their emotions in a non-judgmental and caring way with simple, short, quiet directions. Express disappointment with bad behavior, but not with the child themselves.
  • Step 8: Reassure infants by responding to needs with touch and caresses. Make them feel secure by holding them often -- don't leave them to cry.

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