How To Score At Your College Graduation Party

Get your diploma and get lucky, all in the same day.

Instructions

  • Step 1: After your initial contact, go off to mingle with your friends. You don’t want to come across as desperate or clingy.
  • Step 2: When the party is winding down, invite some people—including your crush and all their friends—to your place for an after-party.
  • Step 3: Now’s the time to make your move. Say you’ve had a major crush on them for the past whatever, and you can’t part ways without letting them know. By now, the sentimentality of the occasion, your sweetness and flattery, and their probable intoxication should all work in your favor.
  • FACT: Nearly 40% of female college freshmen are virgins--and 31% of that group are still virgins by graduation!
  • Step 4: Come prepared with a couple of compliments; studies show we’re suckers for them.
  • TIP: Toss in a line about how a wise man once said that it’s not the things we do in life that we regret, so much as the things we _don’t_ do.
  • Step 5: Find out where your crush will be on graduation night. Chances are, it will be at a party. Make sure you get yourself in there, too--by scoring an invite, bribing someone to take you, or just crashing.
  • Step 6: Arrive at the post-graduation party with at least two other people; if one is an attractive member of the opposite sex, even better!
  • Step 7: Break the ice by congratulating your crush, then start planting some “it’s now or never” seeds by talking about how much you’re going to miss seeing them around campus.
  • Step 8: Look hot. If ever there was a time to make sure you’re looking good, this is it.

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