How to Survive a Robot Uprising

Automaton army on the attack? Consider these tips to help you survive a robot uprising.

Instructions

  • Step 1: Turn your cellphone back on to alert any nearby robots to your location. Once they arrive, smash their exposed sensors with a blunt object. Then, create a trap that lures them into the molten metal and certain demise.
  • Step 2: Congratulations -- you've survived! Now start cleaning up the mess; too bad there's no machine to do the job for you.
  • FACT: The word robot is taken from the Czech term for forced labor.
  • Step 3: Find the nearest foundry, seal the doors, and prepare a large vat of molten metal.
  • TIP: Use the manual kill switch found on many robots to cut their power.
  • Step 4: Prepare yourself to survive common means of attack. Cut your hair short and avoid loose clothing, which robots can pinch or vacuum onto. Wear rubber gloves to avoid electric shocks.
  • Step 5: Turn off any machines with internet or satellite connections -- including your cellphone -- to prevent them from communicating with rebelling robots.
  • Step 6: Look for signs that robots are staging an uprising. If they sport an angry red glow, move toward you menacingly, and violate their programmed servitude, you're probably in trouble.

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