Making snarky comments about ugly gowns and self-important acceptance speeches is so much more fun when you’re hosting your own Academy Award bash.

Instructions

• TIP: You can order fake Oscar statues online.
• Step 1: Don’t forget the swag bags: Every person who attends the Oscars is sent home with a swag bag full of promotional goodies, so give your guests a nice send-off with a bag full of dollar-store treats.
• Step 2: When you get your pictures developed, make small scrapbooks for your guests. Include who wore what, who came with whom, and some catty and gossipy comments about the night.
• FACT: The official Oscar after-party is the Governor’s Ball, and was first held at the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood in 1929.
• Step 3: Present a few of your own awards for things like Best Gown, Best Hair, and Biggest Drama Queen.
• Step 4: Serve hors d’oeuvres rather than a sit-down meal that would distract from the awards. A variety of easy-to-eat finger foods and champagne will keep things simple.
• Step 5: Snap a picture of each guest as he walks through the door, ask who they’re wearing and make a note of it.
• TIP: Pick up a few disposable or Polaroid cameras for your guests to use.
• Step 6: Give each guest an Oscar ballot and a pencil and invite them to return the completed form with a $5 bill for a winner-takes-all contest.
• Step 7: Roll out the red carpet for your friends by heading to a home improvement store or fabric emporium for some cheap red material or carpet remnants that can grace your entryway.